1.You can’t speak fluently by trying
Speaking is an automatic process. You can’t both TRY to speak and speak automatically at the same time. They are direct opposites.
Giving up control means trusting your system to do its job. Trust is hard to build when you’ve had a lot of emotional experiences related to speaking, but when you can do it, WOW what a difference it makes!!
2. The situational nature of stuttering is in your mind.
Situations are external stimuli that subconsciously tell your brain what to do. They are like red and green traffic lights. Without thinking we are conditioned to react to them by putting our foot on the brake or the gas. Situations can trigger how your brain will process speaking.
To react in a different way you have to train your brain that the signal is linked to the response you want.
3. Stuttering is normal when speaking becomes controlled instead of automatic.
Neither fluency or stuttering appear magically. A system that functions naturally flows. A system with glitches gets stuck.
Stop trying to get different results from a system that is working the same way. The only way to flow is to make changes on the system level.
4. No one except you cares that you stutter, but people care about you.
When you are speaking most listeners just want to understand you. If you are able to get the message across “the how” it was said isn’t important. Of course, others might notice that you stutter, but there is a difference between noticing and judging you. Anyone (including you) who does judge you because you stutter has a problem. The problem is judging, not stuttering.
Don’t judge yourself for stuttering. You didn’t choose your eyes, ears, or brain. Stuttering represents the way your brain developed patterns for speaking. Maybe some developmental brain connections were weak at one time, but you are not weak and stuttering can’t make you be portrayed as weak unless you let it.
5. Staying focused on stuttering is a sure way to keep stuttering
When you are focused on stuttering, you are trying to talk and when you are trying to talk, you are controlling your system. The speaking system can’t function naturally under executive control. So the more you think about how your speech will come out, the more you will stutter.
Stay focused on communicating your message when you are speaking. The more you can let go of controlling how you speak, and just let go, the more your thoughts will flow, the easier it will be for you, with or without stuttering. Focus on letting go not non-stuttered speech. It’s so much more fun!